While Waiting to Adopt
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
The adoption home study is completed. It required time, effort and vulnerability. At last you are legally able to adopt a child! Victory! But the victory is short-lived as a new season of your adoption-journey begins. This season has no requirements so there’s little to keep your mind from dwelling on all the unanswered questions ---When will…? What if… Why is it…Why hasn’t it…How long? Stacy Stark’s is a mom of two children through adoption. In the article How do I Overcome the Pain of Waiting for an Adoption Match? (June 2018 Adoption.com) she gives some practical tips for couples waiting for a child to be placed in their family.
1. Do not put your life on hold for the “what if”. Go on that trip. Start that new hobby. Live your life while you wait.
2. There’s no shame in staying busy. Do whatever brings you joy and is life-giving.
3. Talk about it. Waiting for an adoption match can feel anxious and scary. Open up to a trustworthy friend. Find people who can ‘get it’.
4. Remember that this is not (entirely) about you. As you wait with anxious excitement to become a parent, someone else is experiencing a difficult and heartbreaking decision…Do not rush the process…There is freedom to be found in taking our eyes off our own wants and desires and focusing them on the good of someone else.
Christian Family Services, Inc., also encourages families to keep learning all they can about adoption as they wait for a child to be placed in their home. Learning can happen in a variety of ways… books, articles, webinars, podcasts or classes…find what works for you. Finding and talking with other waiting or adoptive families can also be really helpful both during both the waiting period and after placement. We encourage you to see this time of waiting as a gift and keep learning, talking loving, laughing, changing and growing!